You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There r osticjed everywhere
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Randomize
