and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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