I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
