Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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