He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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