And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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