i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think my moral compass just broke
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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