No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
