Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Drake has all the answers
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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