When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Floor bacon is actually really good
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
