You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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