I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
did i just pee glitter
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
