Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
