Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
