I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
