She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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