lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
