is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i need some magic done to my vagina
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
