I will die if light touches me.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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