No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
