? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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