He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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