How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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