your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
