just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she peed on how many people?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
