i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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