I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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