Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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