We won't sleep together?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
