Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
