I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like a drive thru vagina
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
