You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
