dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
