I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
3 2 1 whiskey
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
