This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
