i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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