i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
