I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
