It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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