Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
