just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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