Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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