I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize