Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
