I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
