I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
