Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Let's get the cat blown out
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
