talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
