Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
