I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Everything about him screamed your future.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
