Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
