I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
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