I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
