Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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