I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
